Married with Children

Finally! A Step-By-Step Guide For Giving Your Kids A Great Start In Life!

"The Most Important Advantages
To Give Your Children If You Care
About Their Future Happiness!"

From: Mike Brown, co-Author of “Mastering Marriage”

Dear Parent,

Could you ever have believed anyone could capture your heart like your child has? No way! This love is so all encompassing that we can easily become focused on providing every "advantage."

We play classical music to them in the womb. We worry about what pre-school they will attend, what grade school. Will this high school get them into a good college? Do they have the right clothing to be popular at school? Are they excelling at this and that? Are they involved in every activity they need to be well rounded? The list goes on and on.

I'm not saying that none of these things are important but we need to keep in mind why we are doing all this. What is your objective? Is it not that you want your child to be happy?

Life’s Greatest Gift Can Be Marriage’s Greatest Challenge. When We Have A Child, It Is The First Time In our Life That We've Given Unconditional Love. This Can Be So Emotionally Overpowering That, With The Best Of Intentions, We Make Choices And Do Things That Put Our Child’s Happiness And Our Marriage At Risk.

The problem is that all of these things take time and money on the part of parents. More money means more effort at work which again takes more time. None of us got more hours in a day when we had children, so all of this time has to come out of the time we have for ourselves and, more importantly, out of the time we have for our spouse. Our lives become child centered.

We can become so distracted that we forget that the role of a "successful parent" is to raise our children to be self-sufficient adults. How do we do this?

Children learn most effectively by doing or by example.

By Doing:
To be self sufficient, children need to learn necessary life skills by performing them not being doted on and have everything done for them. This is a true disservice to them and puts a bigger burden on parents, usually mom.

In their early years, having them help with the laundry, cooking, cleaning and other household chores will take extra effort but the offset is that you are spending time with your kids, teaching them skills and getting your work done all at the same time! You don't have to rush to get "quality time" with them. This is quality time. Get your spouse involved and it is a true family activity.

Keep in mind, while these are chores to you, if you start them young enough, they are not to them. The younger you start, the less the battle because little kids always want to do things that make them look and feel older and just about all chores fit into that catagory when they are very young! Pay them for their efforts and they will also learn the correlation between work and money.

The real bonus comes later when their abilities develop and you turn chores over to them completely and have more time to be with alone with your spouse which brings me to the real purpose of this letter.

Don’t worry that your children never listen to you;
worry that they are always watching you.
Robert Fulghum, Author

By Example:
Happiness starts at home. Good or bad, your marriage is "marriage" to your children. On a daily basis, give them an example of a great marriage. The kind you want for them when they grow up.

In addition to enjoying a wonderful home life yourself, the icing on the cake comes years later when they mature into a loving spouse and “successful parent" which will make you prouder than you can imagine.

For this to happen, the two most important “advantages” you can give your child are a secure, two-parent home and an example of marriage where love and respect are the norm.

To do this, it is far better that you and your spouse make time for each other than allow your child to become the center of the universe. No one gets married to be number two or three or four in their spouse’s life. This is especially true for men who will rarely say anything until it is too late.

Neither of you can be a good example of a loving spouse if your child doesn’t see you being a loving spouse which means putting your spouse ahead of your children as often as necessary to keep the flame burning in your relationship.

This is far more important than the “advantages” many parents strive so hard to provide for their children that they have no time to devote to each other.

I love my kids more than I thought possible but I’m not going to win a “Father Of The Year” award. Like too many adults their age, my three wonderful, grown children had their world turned upside down by divorce when they were young.

Your Great Marriage Is The Best Gift You Can Give Your Child

I can tell you from personal experience that the hurt we inflict on our children when our marriage fails is devastating and does not end when they grow up.

A couple of years ago, my son was 33 and having serious medical problems. I called to express my concern and to try to coax him into taking better care of himself. Suddenly, he screamed over the phone that I had no right to tell him what to do; that I had given up that right years ago.

We had never discussed the pain the divorce caused him but it was obvious in his voice and heartbreaking to me. He was nine when I moved out yet his hurt was as intense as if it had been yesterday. I’m sure his sisters have similar grief.

This anguish could have been avoided if I had kept my priorities straight. His mother was a good wife that I neglected because of my focus on success in the workplace. How ironic, that I lost the very people for whom I was trying to provide a "better" life, a bigger house, nicer things…the “advantages.” How unimportant.

My second wife, Charlie and I are ordinary people with an extraordinary gift to share with you: how to create a marriage that is such a great example that your kids will want one just like it!

Create The Marriage You Want
Right In The Middle Of The Marriage You Have

With a minimum of effort, your marriage can be everything you hoped for. There are pitfalls you can avoid and things you can do to assure success.

Implement our ideas and hit the trifecta! Even if you've been married for years, if it is important to you and your spouse, you can rekindle the flame, bask in the warmth of a lifelong love affair and have kids that are happy now and in later life too!

A sampling of the secrets you’ll uncover in Mastering Marriage:

Your life will be easier when you will see through the “Mirage of Marriage” and stop putting unrealistic demands on each other.

How to prepare your Marriage Pact^TM, the most important document next to your license and the key to your future happiness.

The most effective communication technique ever and the key to making each other happy every day, in good times and bad.

What each of you did way back when you dated that has caused disappointment and what you can do to correct it.

Strengthen your commitment to each other every day with three words more powerful than "I love you" and end any disagreement....almost before it begins.
Mom's "magic words" are still magic in marriage.

Discover that the harder you work to be the perfect spouse the more you can irritate your partner. Ouch!

Why not to treat each other like Mr. Potato Head^®.

The most important decisions to make about sex and money resolving two of the biggest areas of conflict in marriage. It’s not too late!

Bend the Golden Rule and your spouse will be so happy to be married to you.

It's easy, fun and so wonderful to be one of the fabulous exceptions that grows more in love and happier to be married every year.

Give your child a very special gift,
a daily example of a great marriage.

Buy “Mastering Marriage” For $19.95.
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You prepared for a wonderful day,
now prepare for a wonderful life!

Think back to your wedding day and how happy and in love you were. Wouldn’t it be glorious to wake up every morning for the rest of your life and feel as lucky to be with your partner as you did back then?

Since this is what all couples dream of, why do so few achieve it?

Most people spend a great deal of time planning their wedding and reception but simply allow their marriage to “evolve” haphazardly through time.

Imagine the outcome of your big day if it had just “evolved” without any planning. Even if chaos had not prevailed, it’s virtually impossible that it would have been remotely as you’d dreamed. It’s true of the wedding and it’s true of the marriage.

As you may be experiencing, the biggest challenge of all can be children. When they become the main focus, your marriage can be at risk. Your vitality and interest in each other can be drained by the sheer demands on your time.

Without The Proper Care, Most Marriages Will Fail.
Most Marriages Fail.

The problem is people don’t even know you can lay an impenetrable foundation for a marriage, let alone how. When we ask if they have planned for their marriage like they did for their wedding, most couples ask us “What do you mean?”

It is easy to see why so many people are disillusioned after they marry and why over 50% of marriages don’t last. Just as shocking is that of the couples that don’t divorce, sooner or later, 4 out of 10 are unhappily married!

In my mind, that is even worse than divorce for the children. Divorce causes a child pain and insecurity but a lifeless or combative example of marriage gives them daily reinforcement that this is what married life holds in store for them. How unfair when marriage can be so wonderful.

Why do so many marriages go from loving to leaving?

Most of the disappointments we suffer in our lives are not because the actual situation is so terrible but stem from the disillusionment that occurs when the reality differs from our expectations. This is true in marriage also.

Almost all of us had unrealistic impressions of marriage that developed over our lifetimes based on movies, TV, magazines and newspapers. In addition, most people hadn’t given any real thought as to what they personally expected and wanted from married life. They just got married.

One of the major causes of the differences that can grow into marriage-ending problems is that few people take the time to merge what they each expect from marriage into a common goal and define how they will achieve it. This isn’t because they didn’t care, surely they did, or because they were busy, which they probably were.

The truth is they simply didn’t know what to do.

Their plan for their future together was that they had no plan. Take heart, years ago we too had no clue how to plan for day-to-day married life.

My wife and I wrote Mastering Marriage for every couple who wants to grow happier and more in love each year. It details every idea we have used for 25 years to have a marriage that exceeds our wildest expectations.

The sooner you read about and implement our suggestions the better. You’ve undoubtedly had disagreements that occurred because you somehow broke a rule you didn’t even know existed!

We can’t change your past but we can dramatically improve the future of your relationship. A little effort today can avoid the situations that diminish marriages. The result is a great example of marriage for your child to follow.

Believe me, we didn’t start out as likely candidates to be writing a book on this topic. Charlie’s dating history ran from comical to sad to really pathetic. At her high school graduation dinner, her classmates named her “the person most likely to have her love life made into a soap opera.” And that was before things got bad!

Ultimately, she was angry, hurt and both hated men and needed their approval. She says she had no positive role models and no apparent relationship skills. She describes herself as bossy, demanding, strong willed, impatient, intolerant of nonsense and a perfectionist. Who am I to argue with her?

I went to an all boys’ high school and was backwards and awkward with women. I have an explosive temper, am bossy, argumentative, strong willed, impatient, work obsessed, intolerant of nonsense and a perfectionist. I also have a few positive traits, I’m sure.

When Charlie and I met, we were what I would call “emotionally challenged.” My divorce was devastating to me and Charlie, though never married, had perfected the art of selecting unsuitable partners.

Because we listened to and implemented advice given to us by a couple who had been happily married for 50 years at the time,we have been happier than we thought possible for 25 years and, based on our personality traits, this is no small feat. They were a minor challenge, however, compared to the situations we have persevered through together over the years.

A failed business, near bankruptcy, living out of our car for a year, a twelve year remodeling project, Charlie's eight year bout with clinical depression and giving her mother hospice care for the last six months of her life are the short list.

Despite facing these and other obstacles that could have destroyed a weaker marriage, we have never felt a threat to our relationship and we will help you make your marriage just as impervious to whatever life throws at you and you will enjoy doing it!

Great Marriages Don’t Just Happen. Make Yours One Of Them.

Our suggestions will make your marriage better once you incorporate them into your daily life. The more you implement, the happier you’ll be. Follow them all and you will have the marriage you dreamed of and be happier than you can imagine!

We want to help others just as we were helped years ago by sharing advice literally forced upon Charlie by Mr. Ken Burley, a business consultant to her company. He told her he could tell that she had met the man she was going to marry and he wanted to give her some advice.

She listened and took his advice to heart because we wanted to talk about each other after 50 years of marriage with the love that Ken had in his voice. We’ve faced a lot over the years and his simple suggestion has been the cornerstone that made the difference between success and failure for us. We are forever in his debt.

It was eye opening. Once we understood that you could actually take charge of your future, we built on that foundation and developed the other strategies we share in our book.

We have lived happier than we thought possible without resentments, conflicts or even serious arguements. I say serious because, not wanting to burst any bubbles, we still have disagreements and occasionally “Mellow” Mike (my son's nickname for me) will lose his temper.

You too can create a bullet-proof marriage by learning and implementing habits that will keep you happy by building a partnership where you both get what you want.

Please don’t leave the success of the most
important relationship in your life to chance.

I hope I have convinced you that you can benefit from the experience of others just as we did many years ago. Please don’t let your marriage just “evolve”. Millions try that and fail very year.

Spoil your spouse not your children and you'll all be happier. Children need a mother and a father. Don’t end up being a part-time parent.

It would be comforting if we could all get our marriage advice from those closest to us, whom we know and trust, who have a marriage we could pattern ours after. Unfortunately, most of us don’t know a lot people who have been happily married for many years and far fewer with whom we would be at ease asking about the details of how they make their relationship work.

Even if you know someone who meets the above qualifications, chances are they will not be able to tell you how they have done it. More than likely, they belong to that very small and very lucky group that somehow survives the “trial and error method of marriage.” Not a good approach.

We have been happily married for 25 years. I’ve done it wrong and now I’ve done it right. Our success is not luck. It is the direct result of the strategies we learned, developed and implemented throughout our marriage and share in our book.

We offer the perspective of both wife and husband but we don’t have you create our idea of a great marriage. We help you realize the unique marriage dreams you envision and give you strategies that will accomplish your goals not ours.

A litte effort, a lot of results.

In a few hours you can learn simple techniques you can apply immediately and that will assure your marriage will thrive not just survive, that each of you will get what you want from your relationship and, more importantly, that your love and respect for each other will grow stronger and your child will know just how great marriage can be!

You have nothing to lose and a lifetime of happiness to gain.

Don't delay, start today.
Buy our book Mastering Marriage.
Implement the strategies every day.
Share your book with other couples you care about.
Tell others about your success.
Come back and let us know about your experience.

The marriage you dreamed of is only a click away.
Think of the great example you’ll be setting.

For the sake of your child, yourself and your spouse
take action now to make your marriage the best it can be.

If you honestly can’t afford to buy our book.
Click Here

Planning a wedding is complicated but planning your marriage is simple!

Thank you for visiting our website and best wishes for your success. Please tell your friends and family to visit us also. We love company!

Sincerely,
Mike Brown

P.S. Remember, if you implement all of the ideas in Mastering Marriage you will be happier than you thought possible. You will have a fantastic marriage!

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