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Frequently Asked Questions
What is a Marriage PactTM?
A Marriage PactTM is the unique groundrules you and
your partner establish for your relationship. No two Pacts are the same. It covers
how you as a couple would like things to go from the mundane to the very serious and
is a moral document not a legal one.
To make it meaningful,
it is first necessary that each of you know what you want individually from your
marriage. What would make YOU happy?
Once you have your expectations in writing, the next
step is to compare them. Where you are in agreement, enter that in your Pact. Where
you differ, it is necessary to discuss the topic until you have a resolution you can
both live with. These should not be like New Year's resolutions that go by the wayside
as soon as they are inconvenient.
Think of these agreements as lifetime promises, extentions of
your wedding vows. Living by them as your life together unfolds will make
all the difference in the world in the satisfaction, joy and togetherness you enjoy
in your marriage.
What do you do if your circumstances change and
you want to change an agreement in your Marrriage PactTM
?
Whenever any part of your Pact isn't working, you need to review that portion with
your partner and attempt to negotiate a change. Remember you made a promise so you may
not coerce or intimidate your partner. You may however coax, offer favors or offer
a trade off, I'll let you off the hook on A, if you let me off on B.
We recommend your Pact be reviewed annually the first 3-5 years, then every 3-5
years after that. Only the portions causing problems need be discussed and the same
compromise techniques you applied originally should be used. No pressure may be used
because now a situation is real and you don't like the agreement you made when it
was hypothetical.
What is the difference between an Emotional PrenuptialTM
and a Marrriage PactTM?
Just timing. An Emotional PrenuptialTM is a
Marrriage PactTM done by couples before
their wedding which is the best possible time. It dramatically reduces the effect
of the "adjustment period." Assuring marital success is easiest before unexpected
issues and misunderstandings occur which happens to every married couple.
Some small, some large. Some sooner, some later. Some silly, some serious. The
process can be done anytime however, even years after you marry, and still have a
strong, positive impact on your relationship.
Why does "Shipping" cost so much?
People tend to equate Shipping with Postage which is one part of it. The other
component is Handling. (Click for an explanation.)
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